First off, let me say I'm sorry.
Just, sorry. K? K.
-None- of this was your fault.
Ok.
I will be leaving the server I have come to love for various reasons, which I am unable to supply all the details for.
Having a hard time bringing myself to write this, so forgive me if it sucks.
Forget coherence, I'm going to make a list.
Sort of.
1. I am no longer challenged here.
Throughout the months I have played here, I have set various goals for myself. Just social goals, (you all know I quit actually playing the game after the period of vanilla ended). I've sort of completed these goals--that basically stated things such as to befriend and learn from you all--and I'm proud of myself. In the way that I have made a place for myself and done my best to please, I am proud. I love you guys, just so you know.
The server has grown smaller and smaller, in my opinion. The days have grown uneventful. I regret not trying to play the game while I had initiative. I've lost that now. I was thrilled at the prospect of the three factions "server revival," but that hasn't -really- happened. Not sure if that would have kept me here anyway. As I said, I lost initiative.
2. I can't take getting in trouble any more.
This really isn't anyone's fault in particular. By being the person that I am, I grew closer to you guys. By enjoying myself, and being myself, you guys, (naturally) reacted in a joking way that my parents felt inappropriate towards me. I understand their point of view, being that I'm physically 12, and that I don't know -any- of you in real life. Just Wolfeh, but she doesn't really count in the sense that we were friends prior. I'd like to apologize for being 17. I'm 17 on the inside, but not on the out. It's hard, ok? I can't help but be myself. I understand that the world isn't ready for that, because I'm still 12. Not meant to offend my family, who is surely reading this, in any way. I'm just being honest here. I feel like this is the necessary step to take.
3. I'm falling apart.
Getting in trouble is tearing me down. I know that how I am able to enjoy myself on here will just continue to get me into trouble with my parents. I understand that, and don't see a solution. There's no point in being here if I can't enjoy myself, and there's no point being here if I'm going to get yelled at. I'm afraid of becoming depressed again. You guys lift me up, yes, but getting in trouble tears me down. I know leaving will solve this.
So, now I've got some things to say.
To all of you,
You made me a better person. Playing here brought me to life and showed me how to "fit in." Sort of. Indirectly. I'm grateful for the challenge and the entertainment that was presented to me here; I made some -wonderful- memories. Thank you. So much.
To Wolfeh,
I'll still play, if for your sake. Maybe when I come over to your house, or maybe when you need me to. I don't know. You're my best friend, so thanks for that. I feel like this game, and the internet really brought us together. That sounds messed up, but ok whatever. I hope you take it upon yourself to fulfill the hope that we discussed, and that I made up a word for... featuring notoriety
People tend to miss what I'm indirectly referring to, not sure if you wanted me to say anything, so trying really hard to drop hints >.> Anyway, you'll be great.
To Yukii,
Thank you so very much for getting me started here. I probably wouldn't have stayed without your help. Someone let me know when the wedding is, I'll make sure to be there. Knowing me I'll be back by my birthday anyway, but no matter. Thanks for letting me annoy you, I promise, it's a sign of thanks and appreciation. Kind of like my sarcasm. Thanks.
To Rowen,
Thank you for being such a good friend. Sorry about what happened, but thanks anyway. I hope.. whatever. I hope I helped, and good luck. If I could ask one thing though, no you know what, if I could forcefully demand one thing from you, it would be this: Be. More. Optimistic. Pessimism is for losers. And you're not one.
To Slacker,
You've been a great friend of mine. Thanks. I swear, though, until the day I die I will forever fume over not remembering when we met. That will never cease to frustrate me, and neither will you. Keep up the lovely grammar, I didn't lie when I said it made me smile every time. It still does. I have a lot more words to say, but meh.
Whatever.
Kick me from the faction, would you? Sorry. I'm honoured to have been in your faction, and sorry for leaving and all that. I just... uncomfortable. So yea. Bye.
To Fudge,
Thanks for being so annoying that I became your friend. Take care of Wolfeh for me (insert comical wink here.) Also: gibe me more fratellis
huehuehuehue
To Scott,
You're a good friend Scott. Keep being awesome, and keep yo bieber flip plz. Not much more to say other than that. I feel guilty on how short these are getting ;-; I'm just too straightforward of a person to fill the necessary space.
To Tibs,
Thanks for giving me a place to love and do my best to take care of as a moderator, it was and will be my pleasure. I love being a mod, and I loved playing here. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Except a unicorn. And a rainbow. No, a rainbow unicorn. We all know how I feel about those.
To everyone else,
No offense meant but I don't want to list you all.
I love you guys. You gave me the best what, 10 months playing here? It's unfortunate that I couldn't last a whole year.
'Course, I'll probably still be on irc occasionally. Depends. I don't even know anymore. I'll be checking the forums, and I'll be on deviantART, so feel free to PM/Note me. I'll probably be back by my birthday anyway. I suck at committing to stuff like this.
In ending, I'd like to apologize for having such bad trust issues, I can't help it. Sorry for leaving as well.
Goodbye.
